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Sunday, July 21, 2013

On Friday, July 19, I wrote about my wife's dog. That we had her dog at that time in 1975 and 1976. This had already on Friday become something which changed in my mind. First I thought that the dog afterwards was killed by her father because it had become overweight. After some hours this become something in my mind that I do not know, and I changed it to that the dog died. Now I have started to think that this can be such a kind of hallucination that I earlier have written about. That is that I took a walk with the dog down to the town center, and there the dog shit at the sidewalk. This do not seems to be likely, I had taken the dog to the outdoor spaces which there are plenty of at that place. Something else, is also that the dog slept on a little oval carpet my grandmother made to me when I was younger. Both these two things can be such hallucinations. And these criminals have been busy with these things. That I thought that maybe this dog is the first to get that kind of fate, to be killed, can also be something I have been influenced to think. I think they also have influenced me to think that they are CIA and use LSD, which then is misinformation. They try to get me to think that they are very big, when the truth is that they probably are so small that it is nearly impossible to find them.

I have thought about that my situation regarding this is like this: Something I am sure about that I remember correct. Other things I am sure about that are such hallucinations. And there are also things which I can not be sure about. In my mind these three possibilities have a kind of schematic picture; correct, hallucinations, and not sure. These hallucinations are facts when I know it for sure, which show something that have been done to me in that way.

These hallucinations are more clear than what is correct memory. Now I am quite sure about that these memory pictures are such hallucinations. I do not know what have been correct regarding the dog. If we had the dog, I think it only could have been for a short while. But my only things to go on are these hallucinations. And this is a typical problem for me, such things are more clear than things which are correct. So I have to understand that what I am so very sure about, that is not correct.

We had a cat, called Sofus. And here is a picture of that cat. The cat moved to her parents, when our daughter was born. After that; a picture of my earlier wife before we got married, in the summer 1974, at the summer pasture where my mother's mother and mother's father lived at that time. After that; a picture of her in the nature around the summer pasture. I told her to sit in that tree, to take a picture of her there; because I thought that could be a fine picture. Then a picture of me that summer in 1974, in a park at the town Gjøvik; by the biggest Norwegian lake, Mjøsa. The fifth picture is of our daughter in the area around the summer pasture in 1984. Here I also told our daughter what to do, to look up in the tree. I said to her that she could look for her mother up in the tree, because we have a picture of her mother up in such a tree.

David H. Hegg