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Saturday, December 13, 2014

Something which I have thought about regarding these influences; is that what can look like something stupid or improbable etc., when a conscious person hears about it, can maybe be experienced extremely dangerous in a subconscious state, without conscious understanding. In a subconscious state, there maybe is no sensible understanding present, which can understand what are truths or lies, correct or wrong, etc. Something which is nonsense in a conscious state; maybe can be experienced as life threatening in a subconscious state. For example; if someone says to a conscious person, that now you are dying, the person will understand that it only is nonsense. But if someone says to a person in a subconscious state, that now you are dying, then it maybe is experienced as a fact. I have all the time, all these years, been aware of this; and I have tried to hold my conscious understanding about such things, together with my subconscious state. I have concentrated me about this condition, like I have tried to give energy to a connection between these two states. So even I not have been able to comprehend my subconscious state, I still have concentrated me about giving my conscious understanding to my subconscious state.

I also think about, that it has led to something, how I started to find back to myself as I was before 1976. That has worked in a way, which has ruined these influences in me. I think that since March 2013, and until today; the way I have found back to my earlier life, has ruined these influences. Therefore I think, that now are these influences ruined, and do not work as they were planned to do any longer. All the years, I have tried to ruin these influences, even I do not know exactly what they are.

Today I think, that how I since March 2013, have started to find out about important things in my life, which had disappeared from my memory; that has become a special kind of countermove, against these influences in me. It has worked against these influences, that I have done something like this, in a way which has broken down and weakened these influences. It can also look like, that this activity also has provoked these influences, so I maybe because of that, have been able to find out a little about them. And the increasing of my understanding and consciousness‐raising, have normalized me. Now I feel like I was before 1976. These things which I have found out about again, which were important for me before, have brought back a broad rang of different life contents for me from before. It is like I have turned back and away from being a product of these influences, to being myself again instead.

I think I have worked against that will, which in a way, was in these influences. So because of that, the will behind these influences, has lost their meaning over me.

David H. Hegg