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Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Now I am finished with the redecorating of the apartment. It has been a much bigger effort than I thought beforehand. More and more it seemed as if I have been “influenced” to start with this, without being able to finish. It should has been too difficult and too much. When I am finished, it feels as I am finished with a big effort; and it is the “influences” which have been difficult for me. I don’t know if it is exact “influences”; or if it is general “influences” which can work on all things I want to do. Now it looks for me as if this is something the criminals have “influenced” me to do, in a way which should have ended in a totally mess. And I should never been able to finish, what I now have finished. I also have a corresponding experience regarding the whole development since I was “influenced” in 1975; I should never been able to find out, what I now have found out. The “influences” should also have worked more and more on me; instead the reverse is the case. The “influences” have worked less and less on me.

I have to tidy up all the things I have packed away all these years, when I have been busy with this. That is much. But it isn’t something difficult in the same way, as it was to do up the one‐room flat. All the time everything still was inside the small flat, and every day I lived there. I nearly become shut‐in within all the mess. But when I write this text, I sit at the writing desk. Now I only have to tidy up.

I write more in a month’s time.