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Monday, July 22, 2013

Sunday, July 21, I wrote about that I remembered that I talked with my daughter's mother on Friday, January 31, in 1986. Like what I write about the dog; in the earlier message, on Friday, July 19; I also this time start to find out that I must have written something wrong about what we talked about that Friday in 1986. Here I repeat it.

I remember that I talked with my daughter's mother about something which must be such clear memory images which had led to that I moved so we get divorced. At that time I was sure about that these had happened. But I am not absolutely sure about what we talked about in that connection that day, but it was something. I remember it was that she had shouted that she wanted a divorce when our daughter sat and plaid on the floor, when we were married. And I thought that our daughter can not grow up in such a home. But it comes more. I have though that she will be insane of living together with me. I have thought that it is hard for here to live with me. And I have thought that she has beaten me. This is something I am influenced to think, and I had never wanted to talk about it at all, because I have not wanted to hurt her. I moved because I wanted to be kind to here. I thought I had to move because it was more difficult for her to move, I thought that her family forced her to be with me against her own will. I understand that I have different such hallucinations as memory images, and they are difficult, because they are more clear than correct memory. And if you do not understand about it, you are absolutely sure about such memory images.

What I write about here, is correct. But now I think that we did not talk about this that Friday in 1986. Something I am sure about that we talked about that Friday, January 31, 1986; is this. My daughter's mother told me that when her family came to her 12 days earlier, all of them had been completely crazy, and started to blame me in a way that was not correct. And they were so many, that she could not manage it, she said. This is correct.

Some few days; before that Sunday 12 days earlier. My daughter's mother had insisted on that I should begin to be more together with our daughter at her place. She also suggested that our daughter and I could be there even when she was not at home her selves. Therefore what started to happened a short time afterwards, really was crazy; totally crazy all of it.

When I have been thinking of these things now, I have started to think that our daughter got a kind of constant want for her father, because I had moved in 1979. We had tried to make our daughter feel it like I am a part of here everyday life, because I visited her at her home every week. And our daughter smiled when she saw her mother and me talking to each other. But she also wanted to be together with me, and that was because of what had developed between us after that I moved in 1979, we developed our own contact in a very strong way. Our contact with each other developed in a special way, our regularly way of being together was a kind or very strong friendship. Our daughter also developed a strong contact to my family, also based on regularly contact. My family also came and visited us at my place now and then when she was there. She had a very strong connection to my family. This was well known, and nothing at all difficult to find out about. But in 1986 other outsiders ruined all of it.

It seems like the people who got involved in this case, which much was developed by themselves; all the time more and more moved the attention away from what really had happened. The police promised to always take me away if I tried to get in contact again, and that was something they really did also, many times, for half a year. But it was never my daughter's mother who called for the police. And for our daughter, this has been something very sad. The first time she got really very angry about it, and for that she had a very good reason.

These last messages I always have find some more pictures, and that motivated me to find a picture this time also. This is the first picture taken of my girlfriend that time and me in 1974, it was in a photo machine where you sit in a kind of box and put on money and push a button to take a picture. So an earlier picture of us, is it impossible to find I think.

David H. Hegg