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144. It became as nothing

After the previous text, “143. Two hours,” April 11; I have thought about that the time this situation lasted, (where I was influenced,) is influenced to become less and less. I have thought about, that it is like, that this time is shortened more and more. I think this situation was reduced to fast become unimportant. I think the time this lasted, fast was reduced to become a few minutes.

I have also wondered if this situation lasted until almost 10 AM, Monday, December 29, 1975. Maybe it was until a couple of minutes before ten.

I have also asked myself, if it could have been until five minutes past ten. But that is only something I have asked myself about. I haven’t had any memory about that.

I have also had some thoughts about that the person, who influenced me, said, when he thought, that I was sleeping: “At least it has go two hours, before that, he can’t stand on his feet.” But I wonder if this is because I have started to think about two hours. It can also be that I have started to think about two hours, because the person said this, that is what I end up with regarding this, now in the end. If this is correct, then the last part should have been, that I was influenced to sleep, after all the influences were finished.

When the person I worked together with, and the contact in the company, came back; I remember that I said, that it only had been, that someone came and asked me to come and look at something, but when I came there, some others had put it in order. Therefor this was nothing to write on a new order number, I said. It only took a few minutes, we only talked a little, I said.

After that again, I forgot it. I also forgot that I had worked the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Later, I took some days off in the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, and I started to think that I always had done that.

After some time, this situation fast had become as nothing.

When I now have thought about this for some days, I remember it as if, that when I came back to my work, then I didn’t think about what just had happened. I didn’t think about what just had happened at all. I only became very much taken up with my work. I continued with only concentrating very much on my work.

When I first came to my work that morning, I also only cared about doing my work very well, when I worked alone.

It also is as if, that when the two others came back, then this situation where some had asked me to look at something with the electrical installation, had been as only some few unimportant minutes. I wonder if the person who influenced me, became taken up with that I shouldn’t get another order number. I had had to contact the company where I was employed, if I should got another order number.

I also wonder if the person who influenced me, influenced me to what I should say, when the two others came back. It is also possible that I am influenced to only think, that I have said this. But I remember it as if I said, that someone had asked me to look at something, but that it was nothing; we only talked a few minutes, and that was all.

I also remember that the contact in the company, later said to me, that the customer was satisfied with the work I had done.

▪

All of these are faint and not clear. But it is something. Something that is faint and not clear, can be the most important to find out correct about. But to find out correct about something that is faint and not clear, that is difficult. But when it is something, then it is necessary to start to find out more. I can only find out about some few things. It can also be, that I have made some mistakes.

For me, this has been that I have had to do different things, to be able to call up these things in my mind. I have had to bring myself back to this space of time again, I have done different things to achieve that. I have had to combine different information, which have done it possible for me to begin to understand what this can be, etc. I have had to find out and understand about it, in such ways; and when I have found out and understood something, I also have started to remember something. It has been an interplay between understanding, finding out, and remembering.

It hasn’t been possible to believe in my own feelings. For example, I felt that I couldn’t write this text. But I didn’t follow that feeling, and I wrote much more than I first had thought about to do today.

It all becomes more and more crisp and clean for me, but this isn’t easy for me to remember and find out about. The whole picture about this, has become more and more clear for me.

Something that is faint and not clear, that is something; it isn’t nothing.

▪

It has been possible for me to understand much about what the criminals have done against me, even I haven’t remembered what it was. That has helped much in different ways.

It is important to hold on to what is normal, one’s job and such things. It is important not to begin to mess up one’s life. If it becomes difficult to deal with this; it helps to start concentrating on doing something easy, and not thinking about this for some time. It is important to stay calm.

For me, all the effects from these influences have become less and less as the time goes by. Today it is almost nothing left of these effects, although I don’t know what the person who influenced me has done, to cause these effects. It has helped to understand about it.

▪

Among different things; I think the criminals have influenced to that we shall not understand about common responsibility and common possibilities. I also think they want that each of us only shall care about oneself and one’s own, and not understand about how our common situation slowly develops against all of us. In addition to that, the criminals also influence to explosive feelings of anger and hate, which get oneself to understand one‐sided, narrow‐minded and wrong. By influencing different people in systematic opposite ways, these explosive feelings become much worse.

When we all have our common good in mind, we all got a good society and a good world. Sometimes all can help one. Sometimes one can help all. I think that we humans shall win to be developed humans. We shall not win by destroying one another. We all shall win by developing ourselves together, we are both individuals and fellowship. We shall win by developing ourselves, both together and in individual different ways.

I think the criminals want to ruin our ability to see the connections between different things, and to make it impossible for us to see things from all angles. They want us all to be unable to behave for our common good.

There aren’t different sorts of humans. But of course we are in different ways. There are only one sort of humans, and that is humankind. We all can understand one another.

It is even possible for us humans to start to repair, what humans before us have ruined on the planet we all live on together.

The criminals want the bad to look as if it is good, and the good to look as if it is bad. They want to develop a wrong understanding about right and wrong. They want to develop bad rights, instead of good rights. The criminals are evil swindlers, who swindle the whole world.

▪

From the beginning of the influences in 1975, I remember that the person who influenced me, said: “The malice follows our banners to victory.” I have thought much about why I remember this. The person didn’t want to inform me about what they are doing, therefore it wasn’t that he wanted to do. I don’t remember what the person said before and after this. Now I think that this maybe has to do with something he wanted to do in the end of the influences. I think that this maybe should have made a whole of all the influences. I think about that this maybe should have influenced me to believe in, that the malice follows our banners to victory, as something I in the end believed in doing. But this is only something I think. Maybe that last part was something he didn’t do, because he thought that I had fall asleep. This is only something I think.

I also think about, that some of the influences, are about that I should find out about a story he only had made up. It can be different things, he thought about by saying that. It can also be that I in the end should have become evil, by trying to fight something evil. It can be that it all in the course of many years, should have ended by being, that I in the end became evil myself, by first being kind and trying to fight something evil. I should have been evil together with an evil God that this person had influenced me to believe, that had contacted me. This evil God the person had made up, should have become evil against the people in this story, which the person only had made up. This story should have been about something, which I should have believed, that was some real people in the world. It all should only have been something wrong.

I don’t know exactly what he wanted by saying this. I only get different thoughts about it. I also think; that this is what ten o’clock December 29, 1975, had become as nothing; something it took about two hours to do.

The only evil enemy we all have, are these evil criminals. These criminals are some people we must find out about and understand about. They are tricking us all.

Something I sometimes have understood about these influences; is that first I shall laugh, be angry, and play down; about something I in the end should have started to do or be myself. The first part, when you laugh etc., is that the influence has started its first step; it has started to get control over what you have started to think and do. After that, different following steps gradually turn around one’s own behavior, to be the opposite of what it was in the beginning.

▪

Why has this happened to me; that these influences against me failed? I think that we humans are different. It can also be that he tried to do too much. We don’t know all about what a human is. The person who influenced me, didn’t know all about what humans are, and he didn’t know all about what I am. Nor I know all about what humans are, and I don’t know all about what I am.

▪

This text has come to something, as I have written it. It is like the first draft for a text. I have understood about this as I have written about it. Some of the contents are things I first started to understand today, now when I was writing this text.

April 12, 2017, David H. Hegg