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156. A conversation

After the previous text “155. My earliest years” May 16, I have remembered more from the conversation with the woman who owned the cottage; some years after we had moved. This happened in 1964 or shortly after that. This is both indistinct and clear. Word for word it is difficult to remember absolutely correct. The whole conversation is absolutely crisp and clean. I first thought that since it is difficult for me to remember correct, then I shall not write something. But after some days, it all has become crisp and clean. And it also seems as if the influences buy the criminals, can have been built on what this was about. Therefore I write about it, even it is difficult to remember 100% correct. What I write about here, is only a little of the conversation.

To remember this has a strong effect on me. It is as if I come back to myself, as I was, when I talked with the person, who I write about here.

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The woman who owned the cottage, asked me if I remember her name. I only remembered her surname. She said that she had thought about me. She said that when we said goodbye to each other, then I said her name, and I said that I wanted to come and visit her again. And now she soon should die, therefore she had asked us to come and visit her before she was dead, she said. She said what her first name is.

She had thought about that I had many friends to be together with. Do you have many friends, she asked. I answered that I didn’t have many friends. I had one friend, who was younger than me. His parents were very kind to me, and I was often at their house. I had no friends from my own school class.

She asked me how goes school, and I answered that it doesn’t go well at school. She asked what the problem is. I answered that all I write becomes wrong. Every word I write is written wrong, I only write a lot of writing errors. Many words have more than one error, I said. I can’t read either, I said. She smiled surprised and kind with a hem, and said; you have read the book I gave you. Yes, that book was fun to read, I said. Then you can read, she said. Yes, I answered.

Can you tell me something about what has happened, so it has been like that, she said. No, I don’t know why it has been like this, I answered. Can’t you tell a little bit about why, she said. No, I don’t know anything about why, I answered.

She said to me, that you are very clever. She know that, she said. When you lived here, she found out that, she said. One time there were another person there together with her, who also understood that, she said. That person worked in the same publishing firm as where she worked, she said. Maybe you will write books some day, you are clever enough to do that you, she said and smiled.

She said to me, that you are very musical. You sang so fine, she said. Do you sing now, she asked. I answered that I can’t manage to sing. That was sad to hear, she said.

She said to me, that you will come to find a way to use you abilities, in one way or another. She said to me, that you must understand that. She said that my father now had heard that, so he understand that.

When you lived here, she said, then you came over to me. And then I became fond of you, she said. You and I were much together, she said, and therefore she wanted to talk with me before she died.

She started to talk about that she wanted to give me all her books and her house. First, the conversation was about that I couldn’t live there alone, and we had a house. She said that my parents could rent out their house, and live there together with me. As we talked, I became very sad and started to say that I didn’t care about the house. I said that I love her, and not the house. That was nice to hear, she said. But you can take the house even so, she said. No, I said, I don’t want to have the house, I love you. I think your father think, that you shall have the house, she said, you can think about that. I don’t want to have the house, I said. I thought that you would be glad to get the house, she said. No, I am not glad, I am sad, I said. I don’t want that you shall die, I said. We all shall die, she said and smiled. But you shouldn’t die so early, I said. I am not so young, she said, I have lived for some time. But you could have lived a little longer, I said. She answered that she maybe had a few days left to live, but then it was over. I said that I loved her, and not the house. I don’t care about the house, I said. I felt a strong connection of understanding between us. She said that she didn’t care about the house any longer either, so then we have the same view on that, she said and smiled. I don’t want to have the house, I said, I want to be together with you. Then we can be soul friends, she said. Yes, I said, I want to be friends with you. Then I shall remember you, if there is something after this life, she said. Yes, I said, I will always be friends with you.

She said that the book I had got, was about “journeys into the unknown”, and that now she soon should travel into the unknown. She wondered about what that is.

She told me that the man she loved, had been killed in the Second World War. Then she became so sad, and she hadn’t wanted to let him down. She wanted to continue to love him who had given his life. Therefore she had lived alone, she hadn’t stopped to love him, she said with a smile. She said that the photograph over there, is a picture of him, it was a framed black and white photograph of a young man. She asked me if I saw him, and I answered that I saw him. Then you have seen him, she said, and smiled to me. Yes, I answered.

She said that she lost so many of her family and her friends in the Second World War, and she had become so sad because of that. They fought so much against what happened, she said, and many of them were killed. Therefore she had become alone. Afterwards she had wanted to work against war. There is something we don’t understand, she said. It is something we must find out about what is, which causes the wars. The First World War was terrible. The Second World War was worse. What now goes on, is even much worse, if it comes to war, she said. Yes, I answered. That mustn’t happen, she said. No, I answered.

She talked about that there is something we must find out. Something is wrong. She talked about that in the end of the two books “The Outline of History”, by H. G. Wells; he had written something about that we must stop to make war. But it hadn’t been that way. We have tried to find out about it, she said, but it is something we don’t find out about. You are so clever, maybe you can be able to find out about it, she said and smiled to me. Will you try to do that, she asked me. Yes, I answered. Then she smiled. Then your father have to take care of these books until you are grown up, she said.

She said to me, that someone will be fond of you, and you must care about her, and not be alone as she had been. Yes, I shall do that, I answered.

She talked about that the man she loved, smoked a pipe. He didn’t inhale the smoke down to his lungs, and then it wasn’t dangerous, she said. She talked about that he had said, that when he smoked that way, it worked a little, and that was exactly enough to think a little better, she said and smiled. He only smoked a little, she said. Maybe you also can do that. But you must wait until you are grown up. Then you can think even better, she said. He had one straight, and one bent pipe, she said. But then you only shall smoke a little, she said. Yes, I said. And you mustn’t let the pipe bee hot, because that is very dangerous. It doesn’t matter if the pipe goes out many times, that is only good, she said. He said that, she said and smiled. When the pipe went out, he said that only was good, because then the pipe didn’t become too hot. When he smoked, the pipe went out all the time, she said and smiled. He smoked a pipe when we talked with each other, and then the pipe went out many times, she said.

You must never start to smoke cigarettes, that isn’t anything good, she said.

She said that she now had thought about, that she maybe would come to see him again, when she was dead. She had thought about that now, when she soon should die, she said. Yes, I said, maybe you will meet each other again. I think about if it can be something like that, we don’t know, she said. Yes, we don’t know how that is, I said. If I meet him again, I shall tell him about you, she said. Yes, maybe we will meet again, I said.

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When I now remember this, I understand why I don’t have the house. I cared about her, and not about the house. And that is still true, it is her who matter to me. The house doesn’t matter to me. She has been important for me, much more that what a house can be. Of course I cared much about her, and nothing about the house. She is very important for me. The house isn’t important for me.

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The day we moved from the cottage, was a day the summer when I was five years old in 1960. We stood inside the open gate out to the road and the little park. She stood nearest to the house. I stood nearest to the gate. We talked a little when we said goodbye to each other. Goodbye David, she said. Goodbye “Name”, I said. You will come and visit me, won’t you, so I can hear how you are in your fine new house, she said. Yes, I will come and visit you, I said. Then you must take your mother and father with you, so we all meet again in a while, she said. Yes, I said. Then we only say goodbye for this time David, she said. Yes, we do that, I said. Goodbye David, she said. Goodbye “Name”, I said.

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When I came home after the last time I talked to her, I told my mother that she had continue to love the man she loved, who had given his life in the Second World War. Is it so it is with here, she answered. I said that she had wanted to give me the whole hose, but that we had our house. I don’t care about the house, I said, I love her. Yes you do, my mother answered. I said that she had talked about that it is important to work against war, and that I also wanted to do that. My mother answered that it is correct to do that.

I told about that she had a few days more to live. But afterwards I heard, that she had become so ill, that she couldn’t talk. And after some time I heard that she had died.

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After I have remembered this, I think that maybe the criminals have influenced me, based on this.

I seems for me, that pipe smoking is one thing, which it has been done much influences regarding. I have been influenced to smoke the pipe too hot in all thinkable ways. And I was influenced to put the pipe away, and start to smoke cigarettes instead of a pipe.

I have been influenced to draw too much, to make too much fire in the tobacco, and to be too much impatient with breaking in the pipe. I was also influenced to not to care about that my mouth became burned.

These influences worked strongly, and was in a way, which continued. I didn’t think about that I did it wrong, I only did it that way. I think the criminals can have done similar tings against others.

I wonder about if the criminals have wanted to ruin what pipe smoking once was. I have thought about that the criminals have influenced to cigarette smoking and inhaling of the smoke; and that they have influenced people to smoke too much. It is possible to say that it seems like, that the criminals earlier influenced people to be smoking machines.

I have thought about that they have influenced to make smoking more dangerous, than what it first was, because they don’t want that people shall smoke a pipe now and then the right way. There are signs of that some pipe smokers can have been influenced to smoke to hot pipe smoke. Then both the smoke and the mouthpiece becomes too hot, in dangerous ways. For me, it seem as the criminals very well know about that, and have influenced me to do it wrong.

It has been many influences regarding this. Is that because the criminals have wanted to ruin how she who owned the cottage, told me about pipe smoking? I think about that, and wonder if it can be like that.

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The next is how I have been influenced to start nuclear war. Is that also because of what this woman told me? I think about that, and wonder if it can be like that.

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Because the criminals have influenced me to smoke a pipe in wrong ways, I below will write a little about how I have found out about how to do it correct.

It is a bit of everything to learn about pipe smoking, here I only mention a little of this. The most common pipes are made of briar. A briar root suitable for pipe production is often between 60 and 100 years old. It is necessary to break in a new briar pipe. It pays to do this thoroughly, and not hurry. A layer of carbon will start to be build up inside the pipe bowl. Start with some half‐full pipe bowls with tobacco, or less, and be very careful so the pipe bowl doesn’t become burned. If there are pieces of ashes left in the bowl after you have emptied out the ashes, it is possible to blow down in the bowl, (protect your eyes). This causes that the pieces fly out in all directions, therefore it can’t be done everywhere. It is also possible to use something soft, to carefully only “help” the pieces out. To take the used pipe cleaner and bend it in two parallel sticks, and use the bend end, is useable. Continue with this until the bottom of the bowl shows how the layer has started to be visible. Then the most important part part is done. Continue by gradually filling up the bowl more and more.

Sometimes I have experienced that the pipe bowl seems very dried‐out, then it can be useful to carefully smoke full bowls to bring more moisture into the bowl. Watch closely what happens in the pipe bowl when you break in the pipe, be careful and try to do the best. Dried‐out wood can maybe also have caused that the pipe stem sticks too much because the wood has dried‐out and shrunken very little. To carefully roll up a little sandpaper, and turn it around inside the wood hole, the same length as the stem goes into the hole; can help. This must be done very little, and very carefully, little by little to the stem fits correctly, and not too much. The dust must be taken away.

A pipe shall not be used too often, it has to dry after use. To place the pipe straight up to dry, is the most common to do.

Pipe cleaners are used to clean the pipe stem, and the shank on the pipe bowl, after each smoke. Stop the pipe cleaners before they are into the bowl. A layer of carbon shall gradually be build up inside the bottom of the bowl. Long pipes need long pipe cleaners, made for long pipes.

When the pipe is broken in, it makes the pipe better to smoke that you use a pipe tamper, which is a useful little ting. The tamper is used to press the upper burning parts of the tobacco together now and then, that is an important little thing to do.

Never remove the entire layer of carbon inside the bowl. But before it has reached 2 mm, it is correct to remove a little of this layer with a suitable pipe tool. Or something else which is suitable to use, to only remove a little. Put it off instead of doing it wrong. The ideal carbon thickness is 1.5mm. It takes time before this is necessary. Only remove a little of it, and not this entire layer. The layer is most of all important lowest in the bowl. Here, is to remove too little; better than to remove too much. But too much carbon inside the bowl, may cause the wood to split.

The most difficult part, is when the light burns in the bottom of the pipe bowl. It is always important to smoke very carefully in this final phase. It is much better to be too careful, and learn it that way; than the opposite, which is to ruin the pipe and burn your mouth. Sometimes the briar wood maybe can give off a distinctive sweetish taste to the smoke, when the light burns in the bottom of the pipe bowl. This doesn’t have to be something wrong, but if you notice that taste, then it is time to be careful. It is better to stop too early, than too late. It can typical be a signal about, that then it is best to stop immediately. The wood can start to give off this taste just before it starts to burn.

There is need for a little extra, to get the tobacco to start burning. For example; light it, then use the tamper, and light it again. This can be in different ways. It doesn’t matter if you have to light the pipe again. The correct is to be so close to that the pipe goes out, as possible, all the time, and it doesn’t matter if you have to light again. Be careful when the light burns in the bottom, so you don’t try to set fire to the bottom of the pipe bowl. After some time you learn to understand when the tobacco is burned up. All the time it is better to be too careful, than the opposite. It doesn’t damage the pipe to be too careful, but the opposite can ruin the pipe.

Too much fire in the pipe, destroys the pipe; and is dangerous for the mouth, because the smoke and the mouthpiece become too hot. When the smoke isn’t inhaled; then it is too hot smoke in the mouth, and a too hot mouthpiece, which can be very dangerous. This takes some time to learn to do correctly.

It is necessary to smoke the pipe carefully. To move the tongue all the time, and hold it away from the opening of the mouthpiece; is smart. It is also smart to hold the mouthpiece in different places between the lips, and the opening of the mouthpiece away from all parts inside of the mouth. Don’t put the mouthpiece a long way into the mouth. Don’t let the opening of the mouthpiece point in the direction of the same point in the mouth all the time. Because of this; I always hold the pipe in my hand, and not between my teeth.

To put the pipe away now and then, to let it be colder, and then light it again, is an easy way of hindering it in being too hot. There are small simple collapsible pipe stands for that use, but there can also be many other simple things to use that way. For a long pipe, it is best to find something, which is suitable for the long pipe.

Too large pieces of tobacco cause too much fire and too hot smoke. Pipe tobacco shall be a little coarse, but not too much. There are different cuts of pipe tobacco. The cut called “Ribbon” is easy to use. These long strips of tobacco shall be filled among one another down in the pipe bowl; not too hard, and not too loosely. Beware of too big pieces, which burn too much. Crumble them to smaller pieces, or remove them. Usually there aren’t much of such. “Ribbon” is coarser than rolling tobacco, and is different from that.

Some other pipe tobaccos need to be prepared before you can fill the pipe. This has to be done correctly. For example, “Flake”, made of tobacco pressed together and sliced into flakes; is necessary to prepare the right way, before filling the pipe. Usually flake tobacco is crumbled before filling the pipe. But there are different ideas about how to do things. People who smoke a pipe, try different tobaccos to find out about them.

Long pipes have cooler smoke. Pipe filters absorb a great deal of dirt. 9 mm active charcoal pipe filters are the most used, but there are also other different types of good pipe filters. One charcoal filter, is normally for one full pipe bowl. If the side around the hole in the bowl is thin, then the pipe is more difficult to use, and it will also be more hot. The tobacco can be dry after some time, it is possible to use a “terracotta humidifying stone for tobacco”, to give the tobacco back a little humidity again, but don’t do it too much. The “terracotta stone” is like a sponge, which first is putted in water for some time, to be moist.

To only smoke a little now and then, is the correct way of smoking a pipe. If you like to smoke a pipe; then to smoke a little, is good; but to smoke too much, is bad. Don’t scamp with the pipe. It takes a little time to learn to do it correct. Be careful if you want to smoke a pipe. Don’t fool yourself; too much pipe smoking can start to cause problems, don’t lie to yourself about that. Don’t smoke too much, if you want to smoke a pipe.

If you never inhale the pipe smoke, then you never want to do that. Cigarettes aren’t suitable to smoke the same way as pipes. A pipe tastes stronger than a cigarette.

What I have written about here, is what I do myself. I can refrain from smoking a pipe for some days, for some months, or longer, that isn’t any problem for me. I can let it be as much as I want to. The effect I get from the pipe smoke is a little, and not much. The same way I think about that it is good to smoke a pipe, I also think about that it is good to let it be. If I hold the pipe with one hand, and write with the other hand, then the pipe goes out many times. Then I don’t light it again at once, because I am too much taken up with what I write.

It is more to learn about pipe smoking, than what I have written about here. Different tobaccos are different, and much more. The most important; is always to smoke carefully, and not too often. A little is good. Too much is bad. Never draw the dirty smoke down in the lungs.

Corn Cob Pipes are cheap and good. They don’t need to be broken in. But nevertheless there are possible to find a few advices about how to do it. The first few bowls, about six, will burn the shank in the bottom. This tastes bad, but let this happen to char the wood. But don’t burn your mouth! Never do that! It is possible to blow carefully down in the bowl, and do this in that way, instead of drawing. But don’t blow too much either, only a little. After a smoke, put the Corn Cob Pipe on the table and let the tobacco burn out. After the first couple of smokes, use something to knock off the charred wood in the bottom, do this about six times. Leave the natural pipe mud alone, this will build up ash and moisture at the base of the pipe. This will create a natural fill at the base of the bowl, so you don’t burn out your cobb.

Meerschaum pipes are another sort of good pipes. These white pipes shall not be broken in the same way as briar pipes. No layer of carbon shall be build up inside the bowl. There are explanations about how to use such pipes, accessible on the Internet. A brown tone will gradually be build up outside the pipe bowl, from the shank up. First smoke it only one‐third down, until the top third has been rich brown. Then do the same with the two‐thirds down. After that, you can smoke the entire bowlful. This is only a few words, to understand that these pipes are different, it is more to find out about such pipes.

There are even more different sorts of pipes, which it is possible to find out about.

Find out about the health‐related sides of pipe smoking, think of that, and don’t repress it. Never forget this. Then it is possible to smoke a pipe now and then.

If you understand that you want to smoke more than you had thought about to do; then you have to understand, that this is a weak tendency, which you not shall let start to grow stronger. This want about to smoke again, disappears when you don’t do it. Don’t smoke too much because you have started to like it, that ruins what you like.

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Coffee also makes the head more awake. Tea has the same effect, but not as much as coffee.

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If it has become difficult to deal with such influences by the criminals inside oneself, then it is best to not to stimulate one’s thoughts and difficult reactions. If such things become difficult, it helps to forget it all, and concentrate on something else for some time.

May 23, 2017, David H. Hegg